One in Three Campaign
One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Craig's personal story

I think men should be told the truth about the family court right from the start. That truth being that the court will never rule in favour of shared parenting 50/50 if there is no ‘co-parenting relationship’.

People within the court system informed me and my abuser of this fact. My abuser must have already known this because for 2 years we had been having a 50/50 shared care arrangement, however for the 12 months leading up to her ‘withholding’ the children, she disengaged and would not communicate with me about anything. I would send regular email updates - doing my bit of the ‘co-parenting’. When she was ready she just withheld the children. Then with a few lies and eyelid flutters, she successfully ripped the children's and my life apart.

I had 50/50 from when the youngest was 7 months old to just over 3 years of age - then wallop - only every second weekend. She gets rewarded for her bad behaviour by getting a pay-rise. I am crushed emotionally and financially. I've gone from being a happy and functioning father who was also modelling a work ethic, to a shell of a broken man. People say ‘just get over it’. Yeah right.

The so-called ‘family consultants’ within the court system are a disgrace and should be sacked for their bias. I believe many of them would have blood on their hands. When I see adverts/posters around the place that champion the importance of fathers I feel sick to my core knowing that fathers are not valued at all.

I told my story to who ever would listen. Backing up my claims with hard evidence of my abusers behaviour towards me and the children. My abuser just made sweeping claims that were lies and of course could never be substantiated. My story (and that of my children's) was just swept off the table. NO ONE CARED! Now my children are primarily living with a person who has a significant and profound mental health affliction. My children are showing signs of separation anxiety and I am broken.

The agenda outweighs the logic. Its all about the women/mothers getting everything and who cares what happens to the fathers and children. I know if I kept on trying all that would happen is that I would become homeless through wasting what I have left on a futile battle against a monster who is supported by the state in her abuse.

To all you guys out there - give up now and walk away before its too late. The lawyers work out between them how much money you have and then tailor their program to what they think they can siphon from your veins. If you have sons, please advise them against ever having children.

One in Three Campaign