One in Three Campaign
One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Joe's personal story

It's two years on now since my arrest and eviction from what I thought was my last ever home belonging to my ex-GF of ten years. We had met as teens in the seventies and I lost my virginity to her, whilst we were members of the infamous “Byron Bay Love Guru” in Goulburn, NSW.

She had told me of her recent past history of sexual violence towards her, even then. "Ali-stah" deliberately broke us up, so he could take her as his 11th wife after I was booted out. We bumped into each other a few times throughout the eighties, but she joined another cult, the “Moonies” whilst I became a security guard/private investigator and JP.

In Oct 2014 we met again by chance and attempted to start a relationship, but for the past 17 years she had suffered horrendous systematic domestic violence from her husband, who had also terrorised her 3 daughters to him, including a severely disabled one. But, with her previous sexual and physical violence history and my physical disabilities from 20 years of brutal security work, we remained platonic after 3 months for the next 10 years.

The first time she physically attacked me, “sucker shoved” me, was the direct result of her husband causing her trouble. Once he became aware of my continued presence in both his estranged ex-wife's and daughters' lives he sunk to every low level of false accusation he could think of. Help for these calculating cunning conniving lies was non-existent in NSW, then as now.

For the next 10 years, she and I fought and argued verbally - name calling - but she always initiated the physical violence whenever she couldn't get her own way. I was also a former victim of my own abusive alcoholic father's systematic DV up until high school in the 70's and I watched and learnt how my passive-aggressive/provocateur mother would nightly “bait” him, into first verbal then physical fighting for over a decade.

I would get in between Mum and Dad and take many of the blows, scratches and kicks meant for each other. But Dad didn't start beating in upon me until Mum kept insisting that I call “the Big Burley Boys in Blue Serge” down upon him. Dad saw it as “siding with your Mother” and Betrayal. NSW Police KNEW all about it for all those years and did NOTHING.

So, I learnt first hand what causes DV. Exact SAME story in my ex-GF. In October of 2014, after moving away from Sydney to the Mid North Coast with ALL I ever owned, she had me arrested by the brave men and women of NSW Police who mocked and ridiculed my physical disabilities and chronic illness and I was evicted, found “guilty” in my enforced absence from court, fined and a 10 year criminal record (my first) as a “DV perpetrator”. Any/all respect I once had for NSW Police I worked alongside/with, is gone.

One in Three Campaign