One in Three Campaign
One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Anthony's personal story

Hello. My name's Anthony. I'm 41 and I've been a full-time caregiver for my partner who has an acquired brain injury. Her ABI affects her ability to do many things including controlling her emotions, controlling her anger, coming at me with knives, constant (and I mean CONSTANT) yelling and shouting profanities at me. She's been unfaithful on at least 5 occasions I'm aware of, very inappropriate behaviour around others, attempting to get me arrested numerous times even when proven she is fibbing, attempted on more than one occasion to get me killed. Her family have threatened to kill me (even in a courthouse to which the judge did nothing). In fact I could write a book about my experiences (and indeed I have been) as there's simply too much more to mention here. She even ‘runs away for up to 12 months and I don't even know if she's alive or dead.

She is in fact a lovely woman so long as outside factors don't intrude (rude, mean, pushy type people and her VERY nasty family). My partner's uncle sexually abused my partner when she was young, her sister made her eat CAT FOOD and put lemon juice in her eye, her Dad used to belt her and even made her sleep outside in a cardboard box during a thunderstorm! So it's reasonable to understand why I don't want them anywhere near us. So long as others don't upset her, or she simply loses it.

As her carer I feel obliged to assist her but what gets my blood boiling is the TOTAL lack of proper support. I need to add that the times of infidelity occurred when she was supposed to be in a care facility, but the staff at these places have NEVER respected our relationship status and I believe encouraged her even to engage in this behaviour. DHS and her family have played a big part in it all in an effort to destroy our relationship (I have plenty of evidence). Went to see NDIS for assistance but they said there's a 2 to 3 year waiting period for emergency respite?

I am unable to have friends, I have no supportive family, suicidal thoughts occasionally (although after witnessing someone jump from about 30 floors onto the ground I'm aware of just how foolish that thinking is). Nonetheless it creeps in from time to time. I do love my partner and I'm fully aware she cannot be fully responsible for ALL her actions due to her disability but I do fear for my safety on a regular basis. I once had 3 big scary guys at my door with weapons one night. She kept screaming, "Help me! Help me!" and I was just sitting there! Luckily they actually listened to my explanation of her disability first before reacting. LADIES PLEASE respect your man - they have FEELINGS TOO! I do wonder what correlation there is between this and the biggest killer of men under 30 (suicide)? Where has all the LOVE in this world gone?

One in Three Campaign