Dan's personal story
I married a Colombian girl after 4 months of knowing her because she would have to go back to Colombia otherwise. Not long after that we had problems - her constantly losing jobs, borrowing money off my friends and not paying it back. Then we had a son and this kind of thing continued, even getting fired from her job for theft. I always supported her. What else could I do? We had a child.
Eventually after 5 years I'd fallen out of love with her. The lies were constant at this stage. We both still went halves in rent and childcare. She got us kicked out of our home and my son his childcare for not paying her share behind my back. Eventually she met another guy and wanted to move out of our rental and in with him. I was fine with that but begged her to stay until I'd paid my car off, then I could better pay the rent on my own and try and get in a boarder.
I thought she agreed, but fast forward 3 weeks later I got a text from her while I was at work saying she's leaving in 2 days. I freaked. I had no idea how I was going to pay rent and she still owed me money again for rent and childcare. I knew I wouldn't get it back. I went home that night angry, called her some names and threw some of her clothes out into the street. I told her to leave now. My son was there. She then called the police. I calmed down and said, "Look I'm sorry, but what am I going to do?". She went to the toilet. After that she came out and I said, "Let's go outside, have a smoke and a talk". Then the police came. She ran off to them. I was arrested and she told them I'd pushed her and grabbed her arm which she had taken a photo of. I never grabbed her arm. Then I realised when she went to the toilet she must've pinched her own arm and taken a photo.
What I failed to mention before is that I had threatened to take my son back to my family if she got us kicked out of childcare or our rental. What else could I do? I also kept screenshots of all the people messaging me saying she owes them money and would use this in seeking custody of my son.
At the police station after being charged I was questioned and was in shock and scared. I said some silly things in the interview like maybe I blacked out. Only because it all happened so quickly and she did have a red arm. But after I was released I realised what really happened. I've pled not guilty and my hearing is in March but I get a record. I will lose my job and I have no other qualifications. My record is clean for now though so I just hope my lawyer can convince the judge I'm a good person, father and can get it acquitted.
But now with the AVO she threatens to go to the cops if I don't do what she says, like taking my son on certain days, etc. She is a horrible dishonest person who uses people for her own gain. I really hope it all turns out OK but I doubt it. Obviously she was scared that I wanted to take my son away from her, but I never wanted that. I just wanted her to change and stop putting myself and my son at risk! I see here I'm not alone and that helps. But we all must be aware of women like this and support each other. Thanks for your time.