One in Three Campaign

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Tam's personal story

My youngest brother has a strong held belief that he shouldn't hit a woman... it was how he was raised, and in his eyes, one of the worst things that he could ever be accused of. He has now on two occasions been the subject of physical abuse by female partners (emotional abuse is another story to tell). The first time he left the relationship, but the sad truth is, the second time he defended himself. He bit her on the leg. The police were called. He tried to tell the police officer that she attacked him (the bruise around his throat in the shape of finger marks that came out within hours was horrible) but the police officer's response, when my brother asked "what rights do men have?" was "you should have walked away". Even to go to the police days later, they didn't want to listen.

Needless to say, in the day and age of Facebook, my brother's photo was posted with a "if you see him, bash him for bashing her" vibe... the threat of defamation meant an "assault causing grievous bodily harm" route was taken. But we are still dealing with it and can only rely on a justice system that isn't always fair to be fair this time. As a woman, I am friggin angry that it is females like her that abuse a system designed to help and protect, and it appears, only designed to protect females. But my anger over how men have to deal with abuse with so little support, even from the police, I can't even describe! How do you get the message out that men can be victims too? How do we make it fair? How do you make a stand? I only hope that other male victims of violence by women have a loving and supportive family to fall back on!