Jason's personal story

Keep going... that's my best piece of advice to you, keep going and forgive yourself. I married a domestic abuser when I was 20 years old. For the next four and a half years she beat me every time I didn't say things the way she wanted in public and “embarrassed” her. She would always promise it was the last time, even when I would lay on the floor crying out for God to forgive her as she kicked my ribs in. It was always the last time.

Her father also beat me every time his daughter and I would have a disagreement; all she had to do was cry in front of him and he'd beat me. The last time he hit me so many times that he broke one of my teeth. I finally had enough of it after they started hitting me in front of the kids, and they were getting old enough to remember. I made the mistake of never reporting the abuse to the police, and the court system favoured the mother in our divorce. I was devastated. I went from being a stay at home dad and business owner to being destitute, bankrupt, and working a nightmare job to pay child support. I desperately tried to fight to see my children more.

It took me a decade to rebuild my life and find a partner who would love me. I spent years wracked with guilt over not being able to help my children, but I learned that sometimes the best option is to leave. If I hadn't left, they would have kept their repeated promise of killing me. Worse than that, my children would have grown up thinking it was normal to see me being beaten. At least now there is the chance they might someday know the truth.

So forgive yourself, and don't be afraid to move on. Sometimes you have to make the best of a bad situation, and the only solution is to save your own life. I tried everything I could, but the system is stacked against men. Sometimes you just have to forgive yourself and keep going.