One in Three Campaign
One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Father and son's personal story

As a father who has been through the legal system in the 1980's as a child. With memories of women's shelters, family law courts and social workers. Which I had repressed and forgotten with love of a good woman and family life, and raising two children girl and boy and focusing on giving them all my body could give. I forgot a hell my brothers and I went through in the shelter, not home. I am trying as I write this not to remember that period of my life just enough to alert anyone to the abuse all kinds, who will afford it a few minutes. A flashback from something I saw, a feeling of utter fear shakes me to my core, media reports that my boy is born a rapist.

How has it been allowed my son is at risk, as is every other boy who grows into a man and then vilified just because he is male. I recall memories of my childhood in women's shelters 5-10 years old. Remembering really vividly the beatings the other boys and sometimes girls got. These mothers took it out on their kids. Please believe me it wasn't ignored but the norm was mums complaining after beating their kid to other mums. I heard many times in different ways ("you fucking little shit, just like your dad," then some kind of, not a smack but a real flogging). My mate was suffering right in front of me.

I had suppressed these nightmares. So regular was my mates being smacked and slapped and verbally humiliated to the point of them pissing themselves in their pants by their mums, I was lucky my mum wasn't as bad. But I do now recall this lady saying mum would have to say violence and charges or she would have to leave. I didn't like the social workers. They said whatever they wanted to get what they wanted. Bullys. They tried to put me up to saying things (all I will say) about dad. As they would put a coke and bag of crisps or chocolate on the desk. The last time this happened I didn't say no I just froze. This time I was older and knew what would happen to dad. Imagine betraying your dad for coke and crisps. I was 7 I think. Sorry I don't want to remember anymore. That all.

My son is not a rapist and neither am I.

One in Three Campaign