I've been in a relationship with my ex for 13 years. I haven't lived with her for 6. I should have left the first time she hit me and I don't know why I didn't (it's been very Jerry Springer). Over that time we have had many arguments where I've been hit bashed with iron bars.

Whenever I go to the police they laugh at me and question "why do I go back?". 10 years ago after one of these bashings she left the house, went to the police, made false allegations and I was arrested without bail. After spending 16 days in cells she retracted and the charges were dropped.

Over time I have lost all my friends and had most of my stuff smashed. We have children and they are used as a tool to control me.

The last time she snapped and assaulted me was bad. I left the house to report it. When I got to the police station I was laughed at and told to leave (the police have been disciplined about this). While I was at the station she called the police and the end result is I'm now charged with assault. Not her, me! This is crazy. I'm told by my lawyer to plead guilty or go to gaol. I refuse to plead guilty. With all the crackdown on family violence male to woman I'm going to gaol.

The only thing keeping me alive at the moment is my children. If I'm found guilty I intend to go on a hunger strike as I'm not a monster and as I'm male I'm presumed guilty and have to prove my innocence. I left school at 13 and don't know how to write.

I need help. I'm now falling off a cliff and the whole social services don't wanna help as when I tell them I'm charged with assaulting my partner they don't want to know. Please help!