One in three victims of family violence are male

Men's stories

MEN’S PERSONAL STORIES

If you are a male victim of family violence – intimate partner violence, violence from other family members, child abuse, elder abuse, sexual assault, or other forms of family violence and abuse – this page is available for you to tell your anonymous story. Please click here to tell your own story. If you feel like you need support, please click here. Stories are moderated to prevent the posting of spam, so it might take a little while for your story to appear on this page.

 

Ron's personal story

After getting married in 2004 and then having 2 lovely children in 2005 and 2007 my wife decided to separate in January 2009.

After a relatively calm 2009, she started putting VRO's on me in November 2009, I fought all of them and they were only for alleged driving past her house. However when I tried to bring up the fact that I was receiving private number hang up calls which i believed were coming from her at the VRO hearings I was told no, not allowed. At the time of the alleged drive by's of her house I was living over 50km away from her all of which was through city traffic. One of the VRO's was voluntary withdrawn when I threatened to go to the Family Court. The next was transferred to the Family Court. The next VRO was fought in the Magistrates court and again I brought up her deliberately driving away from her home after leaving the Family Court and driving slowly in front of me down as low as 60km on a freeway. I have photos of  all of this. But again to no avail in the Magistrates court after all of the arguments the Magistrate eventually granted a 1 year VRO of 200mtrs from her house, no other penalty, In response I asked it to be increased to 20km and 20 years as I didn't ever want to see or talk to her again. This is all on transcript, I can prove all of what I say.

She next placed Caveats on all of my properties.

Next in the Family Court, i asked for the caveats to be discussed, twice I asked for the caveats to be discussed and was ignored both times by Magistrate Stewart.

Next I asked for subpoenas' on the booking agents that booked our 3 motel units, she told the booking agents that I wasn't an authorised person, Magistrate Stewart again made me ask 3 times for 1 subpoena against 1 booking agent, there are approx. 10 booking agents. In the mean time she asks once for subpoenas against all of my bank accounts and is granted it, nothing untoward is found. Magistrate Stewart later grants the same subpoena again a year later with the same result, nothing untoward is found. At the same time im now renting a room in a different location approx. 60km away from her and she names this address in the Family Court. I bring this up and it gets ignored just like everything else. By now the properties are being repossed by the banks as no payments have been made since may 2009. Including my place of work which I owned in my name, a small computer shop, the Family court gives her the right to sell it, and so even though I am legally entitled to a reasonably amount of time to packup and remove my belongings she turns up and enters my shop with her very hefty nephew  and threatens me, I call the police who tell her to go away but also tell me to stop making trouble. I didn't cause any of this because if the caveats had've been discussed earlier then it wouldn't have happened.

To this day I've not been interviewed by the Police about any of her allegations.

To this day the Family Court has not imposed any penalities.

I've now not had any form of contact with my children since may 2010.

Because of whats happened I will not have contact without a court order to protect me.

I've again applied for contact with my children on August 5 2013. No decision has been made.

All that's happened is that 2 thriving small business and nine properties have been destroyed and lost and im now renting a room and am on the dole.

All thats happened is that I've been removed from my role as a parent. 

Ive now won 4 SSAT hearings in regards child support. The last hearing she refused to even attend and refused to supply documents even under the order of the SSAT.

All evidence now points to her lying continuously in both courts but of course there is no "oh sorry we got it wrong lets do it again" and me not being able to have my say. I will be presenting my case to the "Panel to judge the Judges" which is being setup in WA.

I regard all of what ive gone through as violence against me in particular and men in general by her and her family, by both the Family Court of Western Australia and the Fremantle Magistrates Court.

When ex prime minister Gillard started the child abuse inquiry I thought great ill get my chance to tell my story, but alass no once again, its only about physical abuse not mental abuse which is what my children and I have and now are suffering and will continue to suffer.

I ask the question "Does miss Gillard condone emotional and physiological abuse of children (and men)?" because it certainly seems that way.

I now have problems with trust in regards women, I now have emotional and physiological scars and stress issues, i now regularly get chest pains when stressed.

There is much, much more, this is only a précis of 4 years of hell.

One in Three Campaign