Our understanding of domestic violence is incorrectly skewed to believe women are almost invariably always the victims, according to a social commentator.

Bettina Arndt, sex therapist and writer, says women are often the perpetrators of domestic violence, both towards a partner and children.

Ms Arndt has penned a feature article in tomorrow's Weekend Australian about domestic violence, claiming statistics released by authorities are misleading.

"It's a pack of lies essentially," she told Tom Elliott on 3AW Drive.

"And what makes me really mad is there a lot of statistics included in these lies that are just totally wrong and deliberately misleading. They are all about demonising men and whitewashing women."