Dear Bossy: I am writing to you seeking advice, particularly because of the anonimity offered by the internet, because it is not an issue I would feel comfortable discussing with my friends or family. At the same time, I refuse to believe that I am the only one this happens to, so I hope some of your readers can relate and tell me of their experience and solutions.

I’ll explain my situation. I met my wife about four years ago, we were engaged in under a year, and married a year after that. I really thought I had met the woman of my dreams - caring, loveable, funny, pretty and sexy. I got brief glimpses of her darkside when she drank, she would sometimes become violent, slapping me, throwing things and being verbally abusive. I thought this was just something that happened when she’d had too much to drink, because she was a sweetheart the rest of the time. I forgave her for these incidents, but over time, they have escalated, and now its not just when she drinks.

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